Friday, January 22, 2010

I will not be shaken.

It is so amazing to me, the bond that can be established in the midst of crisis, tragedy and fear. While the world watched wide-eyed from their couches as news that a 7.0 earthquake devastated impoverished Haiti, we were here, being strong for each other and soothing the tears of frightened children.

I have since said goodbye to the four ladies that strengthened me, understood me, cried with me, and hugged me. I have held children for the last time, letting go only because it means they get to be in the arms of their family. I have found that it takes only a moment for your heart to be swept away in the eyes of a child, but forever to let go of them in your heart. As I watched the plane carrying 37 GLA children to the Netherlands and Luxembourg, along with a girl with the biggest heart I have ever seen, I cried. The tidy little box that I had kept my emotions in for the past week fell apart, and I broke.

I am not afraid of being broken. I am not ashamed that I have been shattered from the things I saw on the streets of Port au Prince, or for the fear I felt and still feel when the ground moves under my feet.

Of all the relationships I have established, the bond that has strengthened most has been my bond with God. In Him, I have found strength I never knew I had. I found the ability to love fiercely. I found a comforter, and arms to run to when I am afraid. I found a rock in which to put my trust.

I keep singing this song. It's a camp song, and the lyrics couldn't be a more perfect fit for these last few days.

I will declare my choice to the nations
Shout for joy in the congregation
I will worship God (worship God)
All my days

Those who love the Lord are satisfied
Those who trust in Him are justified
I will serve my God (serve my God)
All my days

When the nations crumble,
the Word of the Lord will stand
Kings may rise and fall,
but His love will endure
Though the strong may stumble
The joy of the Lord is strength to my soul
I will not be shaken,
I will not be moved
I will not be shaken!

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