Chapter Five: His Grace Abounds in Deepest Waters

Due to my inability to remember to bring my camera with me, or to use it when I do have it, my picture taking has been very limited so far. But, I broke all my usual rules when we went to the beach, and managed to sneak a few shots of the beauty I had the joy of spending the day in!

As I floated in the wake, staring off into that distant horizon line, I felt small in a beautiful way. It's like the kind of smallness that comes from looking up into an endless canopy of stars. My smallness, beautiful playing out in the midst of my Creator's vastness. The small ripples of my life incorporated into the picture He was painting me.

This is Emily! She is a rock star of a nurse, and I have learned so much from her. She also has a gigantic heart, and it's so fun to watch her in action.

And this is all of us girls! Jen is stuck in the middle with me, she primarily handles the wound care and prenatal assessments in the clinic as well as managing the guesthouse and making me feel totally at home. She is absolutely hilarious, and she is great at what she does. Andrea is on the end, an intern at a neighboring mission for a few months. It's been a blast getting to know these ladies!

I'm going to highlight some experiences I have had at the clinic, but I want to give fair warning to those who don't like to read about medical procedures and nursing things... skip this paragraph :)
It's hard to know how to begin to describe a day in the clinic... but I will say this: you never know what to expect! We started this week off with a breast biopsy. Jim typically removes the entire lump and sends it to the US for pathology. The woman receiving the surgery, despite multiple attempts at explaining the procedure, was unable to comprehend that we were only taking the lump out, and thought we were removing her entire breast. In the middle of her procedure, she became anxious and grabbed her wide open incision, contaminating the sterile field and causing some bleeding. With all of this going on, a visiting student who was observing fainted. It got a little wild in there, but with some teamwork and Jim's calm completion of the procedure, all ended well. Sometimes, things masquerade as simple, and God has given us abundant grace for the suddenly complex moments! We also saw a woman that recently miscarried early into her pregnancy, who started hemorrhaging while attempting to expel what remained in her uterus. It happened fast, but so did the response of the clinic staff. She received fluids and oxytocin to contract her uterus, and once again, all ended well!

Today, the last patient of the day came in for a prenatal check-up. Jenn measured her fundal height and found some discrepancies between the size of her uterus and the dates given, so we sonogrammed her pregnant belly. Inside, we found not one baby, but two! It was a moment of joy as we watched these two wee ones squirming around, looking as if they were already kicking each other ;) It was a great way to end the day.

As I have already shared in previous posts, sometimes I get discouraged at wanting to be able to give more, but finding myself limited by still learning the language, or something silly like fumbling through a nursing procedure. I have been reflecting on the parable of the talents this week, found in Matthew 25:14-30.

"For it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted to them his property. To one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. He who had received the five talents went at once and traded with them, and he made five talents more. So also he who had the two talents made two talents more. But he who had received the one talent went and dug in the ground and hid his master's money."

I can't help but wonder, did the servants compare how much they had been given to be responsible for? Did they wonder why one received five while they received two, or one? My human nature, especially in a place of learning and constantly being humbled, identifies as the servant given one talent. Because of Christ, I have something to give, and it doesn't always feel like much!! But you know how the story goes... the servants who invested what they had received the master's praise, and the servant who squandered his faced his master's displeasure.

And so I am realizing... it doesn't even matter how much I can give, only that I give everything I have... and in doing so, Christ will be glorified! That is a very freeing thing. My "best" is adequate. My "best" is different from your "best". I may admire someone else's "best", but I am not called to duplicate it.

So today I leave you with this beautiful thought!

"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'." -Erma Bombeck